Most men want to try having anal sex with a woman.
Most women are very apprehensive about anal sex.
Before any anal intercourse happens, there are necessary steps that need to be taken. Anal play is very important, and you should have three or four sessions that involves anal play only.
Don't attempt anal intercourse early on. Preliminary work needs to be done first.
I will tell you my experiences, and then go into more detail regarding actual steps.
When I was younger my first husband wanted to try it and I wasn't too thrilled with the idea, but I said yes.
There was no foreplay in that area and as you will see later on in this letter, anal foreplay is essential for both partners to be happy. especially if the man wants to have anal sex again! Otherwise, it will be a one time experience for her. I found it painful and uncomfortable and got no sexual stimulation out of it at all. Twenty five years passed without me giving anal sex another thought. I have to digress a bit here........
The out of character thing that I do is watch Howard Stern, I know, its hard to believe, but its true. He is always talking about anal sex on his show and I still thought nothing of it. Until one night when he had a woman on that wrote a book called The Woman's Guide to Anal Sex.
She was very interesting and it got me thinking about it again. This was three years ago I purchased the book and started reading it at night with my husband. We read a chapter a night and we were so turned on that we had sex every time we read the book. Not anal, but regular sex. I got really wet just thinking about having the things described in the book done to me. Let me also say that my husband never had any interest in anal before this point. We are both clean freaks, and he more than I.
About one week after we finished reading the book, I was lying on top of him and he was rubbing my back and my soft place, we were having sex and just laying still for a minute when he started to touch my warmth. At first I tensed up and wanted him to stop, but he continued and it took about 5 minutes before it started to feel good, but to my surprise, it started to feel really, really good. I wanted him to put his finger in me and he must have sensed it because he did, and again, I tensed up.
After a minute or two I relaxed and it felt fantastic. that was the end of anal play for that session, and if we had gone any further, it would have hurt because I was not totally comfortable or ready for it.
The next session was similar, and we added butt plugs to open up the rectal area. That is an important step which is really necessary if you want the woman to enjoy it.
You must start always with fingers first, then the plugs........
with a small one and ONLY if she is totally ready, go to the next size.
She must be really aroused before any of this happens. Get her aroused by hand or orally or have sex but no orgasms for her.
There are two sets of sphincter muscles, one at the opening and one a couple of inches inside the rectum. These muscles do not work together and it does take some practice for a woman to learn to relax both sets. Its best to try to push when toys or fingers are inserted so that they enter easier. I mean for HER to push her rectal muscles while you do the gentle insertion. The most comfortable I am with anal play is when my partner uses disposable gloves. Its much more hygienic and I feel less inhibited knowing that his hand will be clean, and there will be no embarrassing situations! It is important for the anal area to be stretched to accommodate a manhood, and that is why a few preliminary sessions are necessary. Don't rush this. From all of the reading and research I have done, the best position for anal sex seems to be with the woman on her back and the man on top. Of course, you can try any position you want.
A towel under her hips is a good idea because you will be using lots of lube.
Get a good brand specifically for anal play. I like to be on the edge of the bed with my partner standing on the floor. That way, I can touch my personal place and play with myself while he is penetrating me, the more aroused I am the easier it is to penetrate. Penetration must go very slowly.
If you think you are going slowly, go slower. Go in small increments and stop for a while so that she can relax on your manhood.
Always ask if she is comfortable and wants you to go further.
If you get in only two inches or less and she wants you to stop. Do so. You can always try again. It you hurt her now, she won't want to try it again. I want to say this one more time. I am very comfortable and love it when a man puts his finger in my butt IF he has a glove on. If he does not, then I am uncomfortable about the hygiene aspects. Just a little side note for the ladies. Men love anal play also.
They have just as many pleasurable nerve endings there as we do. They just think there is something wrong, some social stigma, if we do it to them. They quickly get past that idea if you are persistent. They will definitely enjoy finger stimulation, stroking the outside, and gentle insertion of a finger.
If you can stimulate the prostate gland, most men enjoy it immensely.
Guys, it really does feel good to have some kind of anal penetration during orgasm. Fingers or plugs work best and you will have a very powerful orgasm! Don't be shy! Anal oral stimulation is something I have done and have had done to me. I am not too much into that but have had it forced on me and I hate to admit it, but I did enjoy it. It is not for everyone, and the only way I would consider it would be if both were to take a shower or bath immediately before oral anal contact.
There needs to be very open communication during this whole process. Some men are not into talking. Men, step out of your comfort zone and start taking and asking questions. Men like sex, and women like to talk, so start asking questions about sex! Wouldn't you rather talk about sex than listen to us talk about our girlfriends or our jobs? If you have any questions or advice you want me to pass along to women or men, let me know. Your feedback will be appreciated.
Sandy |
